David Sedaris

"Squirrel Seeks Chipmunk" By David Sedaris Illustrations by Ian Falconer Little, Brown: 2010

I remember when this book came out last year. I was in Korea and listened to interviews of the author and read reviews of it. I really wanted to read it, but I knew I did not have the chance to do it since I could not get books in English in Korea that new or particular books that I wanted in English there. Books in English in Korea are like gold there.

I have read other books by David Sedaris and found them to be very funny. He writes memoirs like my friend Ted does. Ted is a huge fan of his and they have met several times and even had lunch once. These stories are not like a memoir but are stories of animals but are not really stories of animals. I have talked about my friend Ted and he recommended this book and thought I had it already. I got this from the library. What Ted did not tell me is that some of the stories were actually quite sad. I complained to Ted over the phone about it and he said that Sedaris explained that life is funny and sad so that is why the stories are that way too or something like that. It was hard to make sense what Ted was say because he was in Seattle, Washington and drinking coffee and espresso out of every coffee shop, it seems, he could find. Ted is a 12 step man and he has switched over to coffee in a big way.

Anyhow, I do recommend the book. It is a wonderful series of very easy to read stories that are not for children. Trust me on this. We, adults, need stories like this, even the sad ones, that are for us only. Harry Potter can be read by adults and children. These stories can be read only by adults. The story that came from the title of the book is a sad one but funny. A squirrel meets a chipmunk and they have this thing immediately. He is happy he can talk with her, the chipmunk, about anything. He is so in love as she is. Then he brings up something and says he really thought she might like as much as he did and she asked what it was. He said it was jazz. She was afraid to admit that she did not know what it was and envisioned it was all sorts of odd sexual practices. Because she became so cold to him, he drifted away and she later married a chipmunk and it was one of her grandsons who told her what it was. She had never saw the squirrel again.

A word about the illustrations. They are wonderful too. Ian Falconer is the author and illustrator of the Olivia series of children's books. They captured the whimsical quality of these stories very well.

If you haven't read any of Sedaris' other books, I recommend them to you. They are really funny. They are about his life in the form of memoirs. If life gives you lemons, one can survive it all by developing a sense of humor like this author.

White, Edmund (Penguin Lives)

"Marcel Proust" by Edmund White (Penguin Lives) Lipper/Viking: 1999

I enjoyed reading this slim 165 page book. It is part of the Penguin Lives series and each author of the series is chosen for his or her expertise on the author in question. Edmund White is a Chevalier de L'Ordre des Arts et Lettres and the recipient of a Guggenheim Fellowship and the Award for Literature from the National Academy of Arts and Letters. His book, "Genet: A Biography" won the National Book Critics Circle Award and the Lambda Literary Award.

Proust is most known for the seven volume novel, "Remembrance of Things Past" and White chooses to intersperse the creation of this epic novel along with details of his life in this book. Memory plays an important part of the novel as well as Proust's life and how he lived his life. He was active in French social life and the novel includes his experiences and his conflicts associated with the double life he led as a homosexual in a time where it was not socially acceptable although not as condemned as it was in England.

White writes with authority and yet the story of Proust is readable and interesting as he moves through his relatively short life. Many people thought of him as a shallow socialite but he was anything but that. He was a gifted observer of the life of those who lived from party to party and of the art world at the time. Many were astonished that after his death when the final two volumes were finally published that they were reading the work of a genus and that he was one of the most important writer of the 20th century.

Russ, Joanna

"How to Suppress Women's Writing" By Joanna Russ University of Texas Press: 1983

This is a library book that I have read before. I am reading it again because it scared me the first time I read it. It scared me because it was true. It should scare most women when they read it because they will notice this very well researched and readable book is absolutely true.

I have a graduate degree in Education with an emphasis in journalism and English from the University of Kansas(KU). I did a lot of my undergraduate work at San Diego State University. I graduated from KU in 1989. I grew up in the public schools in San Diego, California from 1950 to 1964 and then went to KU off and on until my graduation in 1989. Everything Russ said about the education system in her book was very accurate from my experience in California and Kansas.

I have always been an avid reader and held a public library card. Everything she said about books and women's writing are right on point. The author states that she did not see the attempts to suppress women's writing in her early years. It continues to this day. The book was published in 1983 but there is enough in the book and in current publications to show the trend continues.

Why should this information be scary? Because for most women, many of the people in our lives are men. Most of the pillars of our education that we let into our lives unedited are full of the prejudice that passed for unbiased information. The people we let into our lives, into our beds, read their books, take their classes, not only don't value us but try very hard to make sure we don't value ourselves. Then you have to ask the obvious questions: why? Why do men do this? Why do women participate in this devaluation of ourselves? These questions are frightening because everything we have valued as true isn't true at all. The people we looked to in admiration don't admire women at all.

Last year I read a series of books on Virginia Woolf's life. I had started with the assumption that her husband was her best friend and supporter. I ended up with a different idea. He was not such a supporter. He was always in the background weakening the supports under her. She could not see that the closet person in her life was not necessarily her best friend. She was in conflict all of her life. He helped turn the screws on occasions.

The truth of the matter is that women need to stand on our own two feet. No one is going to take care of us no matter how many fairy tales society tells us. The proof is all around us. I don't have to present the facts here. The book does an excellent job in that it quotes long passages from books I myself read when young and absorbed without question of opinions that were very sexist. I did not question as I do now.

When I was married to the father of my children, I did not want to question the motives of my husband as I was very ill and he was my life support. He did save my life so I did not lose out, but there were so many things I should have questioned but didn't. I even went to see a therapist at the Veterans Administration who said I should ignore my feelings and trust my husband more. The therapist was an idiot. I learned to always consider one's feelings as valid.

We, as women are not taught to trust ourselves. There are other examples in which other people are taught to trust the government, religious leaders, certain religious books and on and on and not themselves. The older I get the more I learn that I need to unlearn what I was taught as a child. This is because I live in a democracy and there is a free exchange of ideas. There are countries that if Russ had written and published her book there, she would have been imprisoned or worse. The lesson is learned: Trust yourself. Heck with what some people want on government buildings such as "Trust in God" . The self is the first one to trust.

Marcel Proust and Memory

"Marcel Proust" by Edmund White Lipper/Viking: 1999

I am reading the above book about Marcel Proust that is part of the series, Penguin Lives, and enjoying it very much. Recently, while I was in Korea I lost my entire book collection that was here in my house when someone took it and gave it away without my permission. I have written about this before. I was heartbroken as this is my house and I had no way of getting the books back. The person in question was angry at me for divorcing him twenty years ago. Part of the books that was given away was some of the volumes of "Remembrance of Things Past", a monumental achievement by Marcel Proust. I have read only three of the volumes and I was astonished that the librarian at the public library did not recognize it. I always thought that Remembrance of Things Past or "In Search of Lost Time", a novel of seven volumes by Marcel Proust should be on the must read list of all readers. Our library only has one volume which means they gave away the ones in my collection. That is such a shame.

I started to read the book about Proust because I have been thinking of late of the subject of memories. Proust's novel is an exploration of the themes of times, space and of course, memory. It is also a condensation of innumerable literary, structural, stylistic and thematic possibilities. I am interested in memory here although I recommend highly that everyone should read Proust at one point in their lives.

In the book that I am reading, White states that Proust develops the idea that memory is not like a vase in which all of our memories are from the past are available to us simultaneously. According to White, Proust felt that the heart has its intermittencies and memories come flooding back to us in their full, sensuous force only when triggered involuntarily by tastes or smells or other sensations over which we have no control. This is one of the touchstones of the seven volume novel he writes.

Proust was well aware of the feelings of loss of loved ones, friendships, and so on throughout his life. He felt that everyone was capable of art to recreate that. We can take these experiences and recreate what it is we lost so we can then experience them again. In some ways, some people would want to hold onto those memories while others detach. Proust still felt jealousies and possessiveness long after affairs ended.

I have always felt that memories should comfort and provide joy and not torture. I agree that memories do come to the surface unbidden as Proust felt, but once they are in the conscious mind they should be savored and the lessons once learned should not provide points in which to again provide pain and suffering. The inner world of each of us are full of memories and they are to be explored so they can become fruitful and pleasant and not daylight nightmares.

Certainly, most of us will not be writing our own seven volume novels based on experiences and people we meet during our lifetime. We won't have the talent of a Marcel Proust but we do have the ability to take what we do experience and turn it into different forms of art as Proust did. A good way of doing that is reading what Proust did with memory in his novel. I am a big believer in adapting art to fit who the person is. I am a reader so books play a large part in my life as well as art and music. I agree that each of us are capable of doing it in our own way.

Bill Klatte and Kate Thompson

"It's So Hard to Love You: Staying Sane When Your Loved One is Manipulative, Needy, Dishonest, or Addicted" by Klatte, Bill and Thompson, Kate New Harbinger: 2007

I checked this book out of the library because I am having difficulty with boundary issues with someone in my life and wanted to read a book before purchasing it. I had gone into the catalog of the public library and chose it from the description and it is easily what I need. It is full of advice but in small manageable sections. There are lots of examples of people so that the reader can easily identify.

For me, I am having pain just reading about the information so appreciate the fact that I don't have to read cover to cover but can skip to the appropriate sections that I need addressed. For example, the authors described different terms such as enmeshed which I believe I fall into and then examples of people who are and possible antidotes for such behavior. They also go into definitions of those who do too little and too much in this area.

The authors have the opinion that those who read this book still want to help their loved ones, but they don't want to enable them or make them worse. They are not advocating a complete break but ways of helping our loved ones with problems in such a way that they have a better way of getting help than simply everyone falling out of the boat and drowning. The sub-tittle is staying sane and this is the book to help the reader do just that.

Both authors are very knowledgeable and provide expert information on dealing with the people who have addictive and similar problems because when you are caught in their situations you have it too to some degree. The bottom line is tough love though but in a way that gives the loved one a chance on escaping his or her problem and not sink you in the process.

Hoarding

"The wise man does not hoard. The more he helps others, the more he benefits himself." Lao Tzu

If I had the desire to hoard, and I do, it is to hoard books. I love to see their spines lined up on a bookshelf, all different widths, colors, titles and will often steal a look at my book case above the computer desk just to feel the comfort and warmth, books have always given me. Before I left to go to Korea in March 2010, I had a huge library in my house. Every room had its own bookcase and often it was one bookcase lined up on the walls. Ah, it was wonderful. Then, in my absence, my ex-husband feeling anger towards me gave away the entire collection to the library. When I found out in Korea, it plunged me into a deep grief that has yet to heal. My name was not in those books and I can't get them back. He chopped the bookcases into wood and left them in a pile in my yard that I am still trying to get rid of.

I think I learned about hoarding then. Now, I live in the master bedroom of my house and all of my books including library books reside here. I still love books, but hoarding is something that needs to be looked at and examined. I had hoarded clothes, but I did not mind losing them for I had lost weight and did not fit into them anymore. I am planning on moving again but will not have the huge number of things anymore. I will just make use of public libraries, electronic readers although I am not fond of them as I am for the real thing and reading a book and giving them away.

There is limitless worlds in books and I love exploring all the different ideas and truths that are included in them. That has not changed. It is the medium that has changed for me. I still think living in a huge library would be fun but not practical. I read books on collecting ever so often; but people often collect for value and not for the pure joy of reading. I am of the reader sort and don't care so much for the value of the books itself. Getting books out of print is a joy and love Google Books for having them online for this reason. If I was a very wealthy person, I would get a great deal of happiness just donating valuable books to collections available to the public. I will never forget the library in Korea that had English books that one could check out. There were hungry readers, both Koreans and foreigners, who would come everyday just to read their favorite books.

Maryanne Wolf wrote in her book, "Proust and the Squid: The Story and Science of the Reading Brain", (HarperCollins: 2007) that the skill of reading is not natural to the human brain. Many people have great difficulty reading. Jackie Stewart, the Scottish racing driver talked about rejection as a child because of his dyslexia and how deeply he felt about his inability to read. Many people echoed his feelings. I was lucky. I am dyslexic, but it was in mathematics that it shows as numbers do not show patterns as words do. Emotionally and personally, reading was a natural for me.

I had a rough beginning as a child and books provided the relief I needed to make the transition to adulthood. It seems natural to me now that I would hoard what gave me so much pleasure and happiness during those times and continues to do so now. I will be forever grateful for all of the authors and their words who gave me the courage and strength to survive the bad times and the knowledge to face the unknown. There is a saying that you can't take your riches with you in death. The same goes for everything else. You can sleep in only one bed at a time, drive one car at a time and live in one house at a time. I can read more than one book at a time, but a whole house full of books was just a bit too much.